You can cheer up now, ukJoel25.
<h1>Here is a buggy. It is being <a href="http://ebay.eu/1ukTuAO">sold</a> on eBay by a father of three known only as ukJoel25.</h1>
Here we have for sale the green monster that can only be Phil and Teds. I shall be glad to see it leave my premises and never return.
This was purchased against my wishes many years ago as I never wanted any children and a buggy signified my wife's intent to have children. We argued much and this buggy signifies everything that ended my happy carefree low cost child free life.
This buggy clearly meant she intended to have not just one but multiple children and the extortionate price of this buggy will stay imprinted on my brain till the day I die. I have bought cars that cost less than this buggy. My dad once bought a house that cost less than this buggy.
Anyway as you can tell I hate the buggy. I now have 3 children, and a Labrador and am forced to endure the school run where women I dont know try and discuss the price of centre parc holidays, and the benefits of the micro over the mini micro scooter. To summarize my life is over and this green albatross needs to go round some other poor sod's neck.
– It comes with “what I lovingly refer to as the Cinderella attachment for the second child you have but dont love as much as the first. It means they can sit but cant see anything, and have a ride thats about as comfortable as a Ford Model T.”
– Over the years he has “collected spare bits from other zombified fathers who were once full of life and I will throw these in as well”.
And perhaps most importantly that:
– “This buggy has never been used for dog sledding, racing, or buggy bumper cars, although I once used it to concuss a randy Alsatian that tried getting amorous with my lab.”
He concludes the advert by writing: “So for a starting price of just £9.99 you too can screw up your life.”
<h1>And it turns out he probably set the bar a little low.</h1>